What Now?

What now? These two simple words formulate a question that fills my thoughts on a daily basis. 

The last 472 days have been filled with every emotion possible. From confusion to security; from hurts to triumphs. From loneliness to community; from nothing to everything. 

For the first time since I was 14 and a freshman in high school I've had a season which has been focused on me. For the first time in over 4 years, I've had a season where there has no boy (emphasis on the word boy, not man) I was dreaming about, texting, or dating. 

Has it been difficult? Yes. 

Has it been worth it? YES. 

My "perfect plan" never contained this. If you asked me 2 years ago if I thought I'd ever be single for this long, my automatic response would have been "oh no!" 

I grew up quicker than I thought I would. At just 19, I'm pursuing ministry in the Assemblies of God. I'm a year away from graduating college. I have a full time job and a full time paycheck. This is where I pictured myself 3 or 4 years from now, but not this time. 

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived--not always looked forward to as though "real" living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow." -Elisabeth Elliot

What am I really saying in all of this? Truth be told, I'm not really sure. 

But about what I do know. 

This season of singleness is a gift; it's a gift to be thankful for.
God has a plan. He has a plan for me to prosper and for good. 

God hasn't forgotten the place and season in which I am now. 

Someday, a man will come along and this season will make sense. 

Until the time comes where all of this makes a little more sense, "I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ."

For I am sure of this very thing, that the One who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)