What You Deserve As A Woman

A man worth dating will never put you down. He will never say bad things about you. He will never call you names or make fun of your body. 
Instead, he will treat you with respect you deserve. 

A man worth dating will refuse to pry you away from my standards or beliefs. He’ll never try to talk you into doing things or going places you're uncomfortable with. 
Instead, he will respect the choices you've made for yourself and learn to accept and appreciate them because they’re a part of you.

A man worth dating will lead you, but never stand over you. He will be a partner who supports you and not a dictator who orders you around. He will never try to hold power over you or see you as a servant.
Instead, you'll be his partner in equality and he’ll work to make you feel empowered. 

A man worth dating won’t try to make you jealous or flirt with other girls when you two are together. 
Instead, he’ll respect the boundaries of your relationship. To him, you'll be enough. 

A man worth dating will never make you feel like you’re worthless or short on value. 
Instead, he’ll show you day after day just how much incredible value you hold. 

A man worth dating will never take advantage of your feelings for him by manipulating you or playing games with your heart or mind. 
Instead, he’ll simply appreciate them and be thankful he has them. 

A man worth dating won’t say things he doesn’t mean, make promises he won’t keep, or lie to cover his own mistakes. 
Instead, he’ll be honest and forthright about everything in his life. To him, you knowing the truth is more important than him being seen in a favorable light.

Nothing But the Blood Of Jesus

Oh! precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow;

No other fount I know,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

(Nothing But the Blood, Robert Lowry | 1876)

The Blood. The precious blood of Jesus.

Too often as we go about our daily lives we begin to discount the true value of the Blood. We go to church and sing songs that talk about the blood like we sing along with songs on the radio. We sing along with the words on a screen, listen to a sermon, spend a few moments at an altar and walk out the door stuck in the same routine most churchgoers find themselves in.

When Jesus died His cruel death at Calvary, His death didn’t just purchase our salvation, but through it, we, as believers, can now experience redemption, forgiveness, justification, and sanctification. We now have access to the very throne room of God. No wonder we refer to as the precious blood of Jesus.

You see, I've walked where the blood so graciously was poured out. No longer can I merely stand and sing about Calvary and the shedding of His blood without something rapturing in my heart. Calvary isn't just a place in old school hymns that my grandparents sang but it's now a place where I've felt His love realer than before. There's something precious about Calvary but there's something even more precious about the blood that was poured out there at Calvary.

The blood is precious because of who He is. 

God's one and only son became a man. He's the one that left divinity to enter humanity. He left the perfection of Heaven to enter the sinfulness of Earth. He left perfect peace to enter human pain.

The blood is precious because of why He came. 

God allowed His son to come to earth that we may find abundant life (John 10:10). He came to die so that we might be able to live; what a love that would compel Him to come for you and me!

The blood is precious because of what it provides. 

Not only does His blood being us eternal life when we choose to accept Him but along with that comes healing through the 39 stripes for each and every disease we experience (Isaiah 53:5). It brings us freedom from sin (Revelation 1:5). The blood provides us with ability to overcome (Revelation 12:11)

I pray that there never comes a moment in life where I forget the true value of the blood oh Jesus. The purchase He made for you and me was the greatest purchase ever made and one to not be discounted.

It's the blood that gives me strength

From day to day,

It will never lose its power.

(The Blood Will Never Lose It's Power, Andrae Crouch | 1945)

To My Best Friend

184 days ago my best friend walked into a church camp office where our friendship began.

In the last 6 months, I've learned more about life, myself, and Jesus all because of a God ordained friendship. I could list 184 things I love about this friendship but I'll spare you and only list a mere 6.

1. You inspire me to to be more like Jesus. 
There's nothing more that I could ask for in a friendship than someone who makes me strive to take on the very heart of God. You're a prayer warrior on any and every occasion for whatever need may arise. You're love for Jesus and His calling is so contagious.

2. You've saved me so much money from therapy. 
Sometimes a text or even a phone call can fix more than weeks of therapy ever could. From laughter to tears, there's no one who's been more willing to stick by my side than you. I know that no matter what may come my way I'll never have to face it without Jesus and my best friend.

3. You've taught me that it's possible to smile through the tears. 
I wouldn't trade our laundry room heart to hearts for the world. In folding those 237 towels every day I learned more about how love and life can hurt but it's not the end of the world; there's still far greater ahead.

4. You bring out the kid in me. 
From water slides to blanket forts to juice boxes to upstairs dance parties, you've been able to bring out the carefree, worry free part of me that the real world tries to take captive. You let me admit my crushes like one would at a 8 year old's sleepover without any judgement. You let me live life to the fullest.

5. You make my world brighter. 
Within the last six months there hasn't gone a day by that your name hasn't come across my phone screen in some manner. You have the ability to make me laugh so hard that I have to say "stop or I'm gonna pee my pants!" You've been the sunshine to my gray days too many times to count.

6. You love me for me. 
No ulterior motives. You've seen me at my best and my worst and still love me the same. You challenge me. You motivate me. You've become the family I've always wanted, something I wouldn't trade for the world.

There's another gazillion things I could say, but that's another blog for another day.

Thank you for being my best friend. I love you, all the way to the moon and back.

-M. xoxo

A Perfect Plan in the Messiest Mess

I did something yesterday afternoon that I don't think I've EVER done before. For the first time in walking out of my office, I left papers strewn about my desk, file folders with pages out of them, and post it notes galore. Long story short, I left a big, stressful mess upon my desk.

For many, this isn't anything out of the ordinary. For me, this is a RARE occurrence. But as I made it out of my office, the Lord began teaching me something.

I love cleanliness. I love organization. Even more, I love a plan. To me, a mess complicates all of this.

God began speaking to my heart that sometimes it's okay to have a "messy" life. The organization of what I THINK He has in store and what I believe may be the "perfect" 5-year plan, sometimes, aren't really what He has in store. I know He has a plan, but more and more I'm seeing that His plan is so much greater and better than even my "perfect" plan.

So from now on, I'm learning that it's okay to have a mess every now and then; God is the one who can take that mess and transform it to the perfect plan.

I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart. (Jeremiah 1:5)

What Now?

What now? These two simple words formulate a question that fills my thoughts on a daily basis. 

The last 472 days have been filled with every emotion possible. From confusion to security; from hurts to triumphs. From loneliness to community; from nothing to everything. 

For the first time since I was 14 and a freshman in high school I've had a season which has been focused on me. For the first time in over 4 years, I've had a season where there has no boy (emphasis on the word boy, not man) I was dreaming about, texting, or dating. 

Has it been difficult? Yes. 

Has it been worth it? YES. 

My "perfect plan" never contained this. If you asked me 2 years ago if I thought I'd ever be single for this long, my automatic response would have been "oh no!" 

I grew up quicker than I thought I would. At just 19, I'm pursuing ministry in the Assemblies of God. I'm a year away from graduating college. I have a full time job and a full time paycheck. This is where I pictured myself 3 or 4 years from now, but not this time. 

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived--not always looked forward to as though "real" living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow." -Elisabeth Elliot

What am I really saying in all of this? Truth be told, I'm not really sure. 

But about what I do know. 

This season of singleness is a gift; it's a gift to be thankful for.
God has a plan. He has a plan for me to prosper and for good. 

God hasn't forgotten the place and season in which I am now. 

Someday, a man will come along and this season will make sense. 

Until the time comes where all of this makes a little more sense, "I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ."

For I am sure of this very thing, that the One who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

Welcome 2015

1. Read More. 

In a world that demands so much of our time, I’ve forgotten just how relaxing it is to read a book just for ME. Not for school, not for credentialing, just for me, myself, and I. 
Here’s to a few pages here and a few pages there. 

2. No More Sugar Water.

Forget the carbonated drinks, it’s been 7 years since I’ve been tempted by one of those. But put a juice box in front of me and I’m instantly a 4 year old. 
Here’s to cutting out sugary drinks and solely drinking water and Almond Milk (with the exception of Chick-fil-A lemonade sweetened with Splenda).

3. Get Off Social Media.

I’m not saying that I won’t occasionally check-in, but we live in a world where social media constantly demands our time but it doesn’t constantly deserve our attention. Likes, favorites, and retweets are merely a number on an iPhone screen. 
Here’s fewer nights scrolling through Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

4. Hello, Fitness10.

I’ll be visiting a new friend here more often. Sure, my “Freshman 15” has been worked off, but who says I can’t keep training to be my ex-boyfriend’s hottest ex-girlfriend? 
Here’s to early mornings and late nights of becoming the fittest me I’ve ever known.

5. Intentional Relationships. 

Friendships that aren’t pursued tend to drift away to old memories. The past few years have contained too many types of these friendships. 
Here’s to pursuing friendships in order to keep them from here on out.

6. Be A Traveler, Not Just A Tourist.

“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.” -GK Chesteron. 
Here’s to seeing more of the world in the next 365 days. 

7. Keep A(nother) List. 

Write something down for every, single, day. A memory, a funny moment, a sweet text, something. 
Here’s to having something memorable for the next year.

8. Cover to Cover. 

Many people have, but I still have yet to read the Bible cover to cover chronologically. From Creation to the End. 
Here’s to 1170 pages of a deeper sight of what God has done and still has in store.

9. Light In Before Light Out. 

Every night before I turn on “Do Not Disturb” and put my phone on my nightstand, the Light must go in. What’s a day without the Word of God? 
Here’s to no more sleeps without Jesus time before my head hits the pillow. 

10. Breaking Sonic Chains

For those who have known me for any long period of time, I experienced a Sonic Blackberry Slush addiction. Hello LemonBerry water. 
Here’s to a year of no Sonic slushes.

11. Hooray for Mondays. 

For a good 50 out of the 52 weeks of the year, Mondays are met with the dread of having to return to work. Perspective change, going to work on Monday means I have a job. The ending of the weekend means I had friends to laugh with for 48 hours. 
Here’s to a new, joyful start to each week. 

12. Putting the Phone Down

The generation we live in is slowly losing how to interact with people. It’s a struggle for many of us (myself included) to go an entire meal without checking our phone screen to see what we may be missing. 
Here’s remembering what it’s like to interact with friends.

13. Clean, Clean, Clean. 

Clutter brings about stress in my life. Currently my stress level is about a 7. 
Here’s to clean closets and organized cabinets.

14. Handwritten Over Handtyped.

There’s just something about writing letter that makes my heart melt. Unlike a screenshot of a text, they’re something you can actually hold in your hands and know that someone else took their time to write it. 
Here’s to many note cards and Forever stamps.

15. New Year, New Goals.

2015. It’ll have ups, downs, highs, and lows, but there’s one thing I know for certain is that it’ll be a year to never forget. 
Here’s to 2015.

15 Things I Miss Everyday About My Ex-Best Friend

I write this in hopes that maybe someday, I can remove the “ex” out of the title. 

1. All the promises we made together. 
We promised that we’d be sissy-butts for life, that nothing and no one could come in the way of this promise. We promised each other at super young ages the role of MOH in each others wedding. I wonder each and every day what our lives would be like if we were still best friends. It’s so strange scratching things off of “our” bucket list with someone else.

2. Texting her when something major happens or running into someone unexpected. 

I accidentally send a text to an ex and she was the first to know. Or she'd see the realllllyy attractive lifeguard from camp and my phone was instantly blowing up with “OHMYGOSH, can he just marry me?"

3. Hearing all the details about her love life. 

We’d screenshot messages from the BAE at the time. She’d always be the first person to know how a date went with every single detail.

4. Being involved in each other’s families. 
Unlike many friendship that dissolve, her family is still mine. What’s the weirdest is being there without her. Sleepovers at her families house just aren’t the same when you can’t roll over at night and tell her something funny that happened to you that week.

5. The routines we shared together. 
For a major chunk of our childhood (obviously before either of us could drive) we’d always meet at the back of the Benton Walmart parking lot to be dropped off to go to each others house. We knew the exact amount of time it took each other go get ready down to walking out the door.

6. Clothes swapping. 
I was always about half a size bigger than she was but I still managed to squeeze into her clothes minus the jeans. But we did both wear an 8-1/2 shoe for the win!

7. Having someone I could do nothing with and still have fun. 
We were notorious for using the front camera on our phones and recording dumb videos when traveling. We were able to be comfortable in silence with each other at the same time though. There was just something about having your best friend right by your side.

8. Inside jokes no one else will EVER be able to understand. 
Sometimes I still make references to people getting “Chesters Chicken” and no one really gets it. We had our own language between each other that no one will ever get the references to.

9. Watching our favorite TV show reruns. 
We were a bit old fashioned. We loved I Love Lucy and The Andy Griffith Show (and Summer of Courage and Oscar if you thrown in movies to this bunch). We could quote more lines to these than one could even imagine. Throw in some brownie batter and it was a perfect night. 

10. Her social circle. 
To this day I still see people she went to high school with and can have more of a conversation with them in 10 minutes then her and I have had in the last two and a half years. Our “break-up” is impossible to explain to them for, well, I still don’t get the aspects of it all.

11. Finding something I know she would absolutely LOVE and not being able to get it for her. 
She looked great in gold, it matched her hair perfectly. And green, it complemented her eyes so well. And those lacy boots that she bought in Phoenix, no one can rock them like she did.

12. Late night conversations about anything and everything. 
I feel as though if most people had heard our conversations, we’d be in some type of mental hospital now. One word and we’d crack up. Tears, laughter, weird voices - they were all apart of our friendship.

13. How weird and dysfunctional I could be with her and she was TOTALLY cool with it. 
She was weird with me. That sums it up.

14. Being able to do things I'd never be able to with other friends. 
She’d pluck my eyebrows for me. I’d pick the mushrooms off of her pizza. In our friendship/sisterhood there wasn’t a thing such as boundary lines. 

15. Having someone just get me and my quirks cause we've known each other for so long. 
Yes, I’ve made new friends but they just don’t have the history and the memories what this one does.  Our bonding took 17 years to make - my entire life until our friendship ended; it’ll be a while before I reach this level with anyone else.